A Somatic Psychotherapy Journey of Therapist with Client

When you be together with another in physical presence and open heart you feel the tension they feel, but you know it’s not yours. And you stay.

When you be with another in physical presence and open heart you are together in their pain but you know it’s not yours. And you stay.

And when you breathe together synchronised with their body you enter the essence of their story of trauma with its interwoven imprints and scars left upon them. And you love them.

You love them whole.

You know them. You are getting to know them. This incredible, unique, perfect being with perfect anger, perfect grief, perfect fear, perfect tears and perfect joy.

In their own paradigm. You understand them.

Remind them of all the pieces of themselves that they trustingly dare to reveal to you.

Help each part know and reclaim its god-given purpose.

And let the parts that have a voice express what they need to say. Say it exactly as it is. Repeat it until it is said with the tone and timbre that rings of truth, knowing nothing is now held back, here together with you. Not directed at you, but in the presence of you. Said as it lives, or has lived, inside their body. Sometimes trapped for decades. Only witnessed now. Holding a safe space for it all.

Letting the pushback with their hands express and transform into the inexplicable sense of their true need, laid bare before their eyes. A smile of surprise. They didn’t know what was hiding underneath the defence.

Feet running firm on the ground, voices and sound, breath. Images coming back and finally being able to escape and no longer be trapped, in the past. Bigger than the small. Integrating it all.

And the arms that need to swing above and hit down on the padding in front are accompanied by the thrust that gives birth to the person’s true power. This is not the nice hour. The power takes on a life of its own. Primal grunt pours out from the dark recesses long forgotten. Encouragement of them is my co-created expression. And a chunk of their unconsciousness is transformed.

I’ve got your back. Hands of support. The energy taken in.

A head nod, gestures of rapport.

Letting the ‘NO’ out and the scream. Letting the shattered dream fall.

Hearing their plea, their desire, their yearning heart’s call.

The grief.

Then the laughter arises, complete release takes hold.

Facing these feelings through the whole body wasn’t so scary after all.

This is their face off with embodied freedom, now.

The time has come.

And we sit back in our chairs delightfully exhausted with the journey, but completed relieved.

And together oh so alive.

The Day I got Married


On the 25th May, 2016 I got married. Married to myself. This idea arose the day before, and I immediately began to take action in preparation. These kinds of things don’t just happen every day. Curious and excited, I opened myself to receive information about how to orchestrate this.  Events conspired perfectly and seamlessly. A girlfriend messaged me soon after wanting to come over for a spa day. “Sure”, I reply. “One thing though, I am getting married.” So cheekily I ask her if she would be my celebrant. It turns out she has always secretly wanted to be one, so we jump right into the co-creation.


On the morning of the union, I prepare the outside deck of my beautiful nature property. Placing all items of meaning to me on the dining table, aka the ‘altar’,  I then notice a male and female pair of parrots, surrounding me. Quite special to have my first witnesses. A wedding playlist from youtube goes on. A bunch of delicate white flowers are picked straight from the garden and turned into a bouquet. I locate the new ring I had bought recently that I absolutely adore. I take my dress I had bought years ago for a future wedding out of the cupboard and snip the price tag off it. It’s as though it had been waiting for this moment all those years. I’m in awe. There is something powerful in now realizing that this day, this dress, this love I feel inside is first and foremost purely for me. I begin to dance and the excitement escalates to unprecedented levels. All those parties I had thrown over the years – well this one’s for me.


My celebrant girlfriend arrives and sits herself on the daybed.  She wonders before we start what else might be required from her to contribute to this wonderful celebration. I immediately notice she is sitting in front of the mosquito netting encasing the day bed and I realize we need to use this as the veil, in front of the ‘altar’.  Some skilful, simple adjustments and the scene is set. I walk her around and explain the significance of the items on the altar as well as the written quotes I had put up around the space. These quotes had come to me in the days leading up to this wedding. I could feel the inspirational power of them holding me through this amazing occasion. The strongest one by far, was the one where I am accepting and loving all of myself unconditionally. I could feel that this was another beautiful turning point in my life. And already this was certainly turning out to be the best day of my life, and we hadn’t even started.


I’d prepared two journeys for the marriage itself. The first, I had my celebrant read out a list of qualities I had crafted that I wanted to embrace fully in myself. She asked me if I am willing to embrace and marry each of the qualities. I answered ‘yes’ one by one, in a way that expressed each quality through my body as I embraced it. 30 qualities and yes’s later, we were both ecstatically high on the potent energy of this embodiment. Then, I read my own personal vows from my heart to myself. We jumped and sang and laughed and celebrated all the way through. I threw the bouquet into the crowd and my celebrant caught it. Then she threw it back to me. I became distinctly aware that I was now ready to also embrace a wedding with a man in the future too. Fuck it, we’re here to have it and live it all … juicy, fun experiences all round!
We drank and ate and talked and laughed well into the night, submerged in the spa for hours. Something fascinating was happening. Whenever she, or myself, began to speak on a topic I immediately brought through the oneness version of that subject, through the spoken word. I was acutely aware of how we create duality and pit opposites up against each other, and how this creates the illusion of separation. All well and appropriate when triggered to create this kind of reality, but I knew for sure now that the oneness I was feeling and the deep connection with everything, was far beyond this kind of reality. For hours I reframed so many subjects effortlessly into their wholesome, unified version of reality. I was sure that this new experience of oneness was a direct result of marrying myself, and loving and accepting all of me. Pretty damn special.